Why More Men Having Plastic Surgery Does Not Equal Gender Equality

photo: prweb.com

While on a flight back from a work conference in Boston, I realized the limitations of my new Nook, other than being among the least sexy, if most useful, of my wedding presents: you can’t read during take-off and landing. Desperate, I picked up an in-flight magazines called American Way. And between the articles about people who dress up like mermaids and Armie Hammer was a piece titled “Nip/Tuck Secrets: Plastic Surgery AMONG MALES is booming, but it’s not one of those things guys want to discuss.”

Having recently read an amazing book titled “Beauty Junkies” by Alex Kuczynski, about America’s addiction to plastic surgery and cosmetic enhancement (non-surgical procedures like Botox injections), I was intrigued. The article starts off with the story of code name Brian, who had a surgery to give him a stronger-looking chin and is quoted saying “vanity these days is not just for women…I hate to say it, but I think a lot of people do judge you based on how you look. This is something for myself, not anybody else.”

Oh really? Before I move onto all the other seriously flawed statements in this article, of which there are plenty, I want to address the notion of plastic surgery being done “for myself, not anybody else.” This sounds like a great justification that makes the patient seem independent and in-control. But to truly say that you’re doing plastic surgery for yourself implies that you live in a vacuum without other people. If a hermit who never interacted with other humans got plastic surgery, he could honestly say it was “for myself.” But the whole reason we want to change and enhance our looks is because of other people – and code name Brian precedes his statement by literally discussing those other people: “a lot of people do judge you based on how you look.” Clearly it’s for those people that he changed his chin. To claim to be doing it for yourself is ridiculous, and would be like wearing make-up and a formal gown when you’re staying inside to watch TV by yourself. That’s “just for myself,” and it’s crazy. Moving on.
The article gives some basic information and stats – like that 10% of plastic surgery customers are men, that the most common procedures are lipo-suction, breast reductions, rhinoplasty (nose jobs) and face-lifts, and that pretty much all men strive to keep their procedures secret. Then it makes claims about what this means for gender equality:

“The numbers show men are freeing themselves from fitting into a neatly prescribed identity box. ‘If true equality between the sexes is a goal for our culture, it’s a good thing that the practice of plastic surgery is becoming more common among men,’ says Dr. Seth Meyers, a clinical psychologist who runs a private practice in Los Angeles. ‘Men pursuing plastic surgery at higher rates than in the past shows that men aren’t falling prey to age-old stigmas about masculinity and toughness.’”

But here’s the thing: men having plastic surgery to do things like reduce the size of their breasts (common among overweight men) and get a stronger jaw line is exactly “fitting into a neatly prescribed identity box” and “falling prey to age-old stigmas about masculinity and toughness.” The procedures are done to enhance their manliness, increasing just how well they fit into the prescribed box of how men should look. The only thing that’s changed is that men are now paying to have these enhancements done alongside women. But the fact that they are desperate to keep it a secret also points to the fact that men aren’t actually cool with caring about their looks and behaving in a way traditionally associated with women. There’s simply more pressure for men to look fit and manly, and men of means are a little more willing to go under the knife to meet those expectations. Most would agree that while the pressure isn’t quite as great for men (see my previous piece on the way media disproportionately targets women), it’s certainly there, and it’s certainly strong. These stats on the rise in men getting plastic surgery proves that men are buckling under the expectations, though we’ll see if they ever match women in desire to change their appearances.

This issue is another great example of why sexism hurts everyone. And just to say it clearly: sorry, Dr. Meyers, but a culture in which men are becoming equally anxious about their appearances doesn’t equal gender equality. The goal we are actually aiming for is for everyone to be equally accepting their own appearance, to be comfortable in their skin, to be respected and loved regardless of looks. Men and women having "gender equality" by being equally tormented by their bodies is not the goal we should be aiming for. (Unless of course you’re one of the surgeons who cashes in on people’s insecurities). Despite what this doctor says, men and women flocking to surgical means to fix their so-called “flaws” in equal number means that we are more enslaved to the idea of fitting into a “neatly prescribed identity box,” not less. Sexism puts everyone, men and women, into these boxes of having to look a certain way, be it masculine or feminine. That’s why it’s not just a female issue, and why men should also be invested in the work of ending it.

So here’s the action part: to my fellow women, we need to recognize that men are affected by the same unreachable expectations that are set for us. They may not be quite as bad, but they’re bad, coupled with the fact that men are often under extreme pressure not to admit to it or discuss it. Just like we can crave people like our looks and yearn for a partner who loves our bodies, “flaws” and all, we need to do the same for men. We need to celebrate their bodies, their so-called imperfections, and their chins, even the ones that aren’t shaped like Superman’s. We need to stop pretending men don’t worry about these things, and encourage a safe space for them to recognize, admit to, discuss, and change these unreachable expectations. For men: there needs to be more of a discussion about how the media and our society put incredibly unfair pressure on you to look a certain way. This can’t happen if men secretly see plastic surgeons and never discuss it. This can’t happen if you put up the confident façade that society has taught you you must have to be accepted, respected, and loved. You have to talk about it, accept that you’re not always 100% confident about your looks, and work to change the unreachable standards. And everyone: don’t get plastic surgery. Unless you’re a burn victim or were in a disfiguring accident, in which case plastic surgery is truly an amazing and healing procedure, you don’t need it. You’re already perfect.