Professional Attire at Work: An Impossible Window

Any other working women out there ever feel the soul crushing task of getting dressed in the morning?

Here's a little background: for two years, I served an education focused organization powered by national service. In layman's terms, AmeriCorps gave me a small stipend for serving (intensive, work-like, semi-paid volunteering) in an urban school. For two years, wearing a uniform was part of the job. A uniform with absolutely no flexibility: the only thing I got to any say in was the watch I wore, two pieces of jewelry, and the things I put in my hair, so long as they were only black. Not a lot of choice in the morning.

At first it was crippling and I felt like my creativity was being crushed, but by the end of it, boy let me tell you, I was content. I saved my best clothes for the weekend. It took me all of 20 minutes to get from my bed to walking to the bus. No thought necessary. I couldn't wear the uniform wrongly once I knew the few simple rules, like: tuck in your shirt. Don't unbutton your button-up past the second button. Always wear the belt.

That was it. No room to mess up. No thought. No worries about if you were being too provocative or not professionally "feminine" enough.

However, now I've graduated from the service position into one of the few open jobs at the same organization. A real job that pays more than poverty wages and has real benefits and requires the deceivingly simple stipulation that I wear "business casual" attire.

Business casual: a way to dress that is simple for men, the only drawback the one type of shirt and one type of pants required have to be ironed. But you know what? I'd take a few minutes of ironing in the morning over the endless worry, second-guessing, shade-throwing, gossiping, double standard that women in the business world deal with.

I have never had trouble dressing myself before I got my first "real" job. I'm mature and confident. And here's a sample of the things that run through my head about my professional attire any given day:

Is this skirt too short? I don't think so. It matches the requirements skirts had to meet in high school so it's fine, right? I'm short, I have short legs, it might be pushing it on someone else but it's fine on me...right?

These pants are tight. But not really. Not too tight. Plenty of other women in the office wear them. It's fine.

These pants are too loose. I don't want to look like I'm practically in sweat pants. But they're so comfortable! And maybe I just don't feel that hot today. Can't I just wear loose pants? Ugh not really. Fine. The tighter ones.  (but are they too tight?) Guess I'll just feel like I look bad all day.

Is this headband too much?

Is this necklace too much?

Do these colors go together ok? I don't want everyone to think I'm some kind of fashion-dense idiot.

Is not wearing any jewelry at all ever ever ever ok? I don't want to be too manly. No one likes that. Well actually I'm totally fine with it but what about everyone else in the world? What about the people who ultimately could fire or promote me? What do they think?

Then there's what actually comes out of the mouths of people at the office:

"Her pants are practically jeans! Can she wear those?"

"Wow that skirt is pretty short for work."

"Wow that shirt is pretty booby for work."

"Wow that outfit is pretty manly for work."

"Wow that outfit is pretty girly for work."

"Wow that outfit is pretty slutty/matronly for work."

"Wow does she not realize how hot/cold it is outside?"

Then there was the day that the big boss over everyone made the completely random determination that open-toed shoes are not professional. Not surprisingly, this only affected women. For some it was an annoyance they could no longer wear their favorite classy sandals to work, and for others it became a financial difficulty: one woman had invested in a couple of expensive, classic heels, all of which had open toes. Suddenly, she couldn't wear any of them and was out a lot of money.

And the men? They wear their pressed collared button-up shirts, their slacks, and their nice brown or black shoes. No worries, no comments about their attire, no anxiety over office gossip. They get to have a bit of safe creativity with their watches and ties. And oh, they have to iron it all. And it's such a horrible hassle that women don't have to deal with. (Unless of course they also have the women version of those same pieces of clothing that have to be ironed. Which we do).

Me? I'd take the few minutes of ironing any day over the constant anxiety and policing of what I wear.

Here's what I propose: no more. No more commenting on each other's clothing. I have done this in the past, but I am now vowing, with all you readers as my witness, that it's over. No more comments about the length of skirts, the material of pants, the amount of toe a sandal shoes. No more. If I don't want others judging my dress, I have to stop judging others. And someday, when I own my own non-profit, I will encourage women to dress in a way that is professional to them, with no specific rules. I will wear a nice pair of pants and a collared button-up shirt that I ironed that morning, with a pair of open-toed shoes. And any type of policing of clothing will be strictly banned.